The Duke’s Martini vs Ass Juice: New York in Two Drinks

In my work, I’m constantly reminded that it’s the experience people remember the most. It’s not what I ask them to taste, or what I ask them to pay but how I make them feel.

This reality was borne out gloriously on a recent trip to New York. Two bars, two drinks, two experiences. Radically different in atmosphere, price point and quality. Both fantastic experiences.

First there was the Lobby Bar at the legendary Hotel Chelsea, famous for hosting everyone from Warhol to Joplin and renowned for serving one of the best Martinis in Manhattan, a reputation that proved itself well earned.

The bar is opulence itself - chandeliers, marble but very tasteful and silent but for the quiet chatter of its patrons, while the bartenders attend in white jacket and black tie. They make friendly conversation in hushed polite terms, and leave to attend other duties at the exact right time.

The drink? A Duke’s Martini ($31). Vermouth is poured into the chilled glass, while a bottle of Tanqueray No 10 is taken out of the deep freeze. The vermouth is swirled around gracefully and then disposed of (equally gracefully), before a weekly unit-bothering amount of Martini is poured in, its consistency syrupy from the cold. My guess is I’ve been served around 150ml.

It feels like it’s 1920. The martini is sublime but the experience is magnificent.

Secondly, there’s the Double Down Bar, a punk rock dive bar on the Lower East Side. 

The bar has noise on the jukebox and Japanese porn on the TVs. We spot a sign advertising Ass Juice, its pricing scheme ‘$5 for 1, $11 for 2’ dripping with theatrical disdain for their customers. We ask the bartender what it is, she looks at us like we’re wasting her time, and says it’s the house shot. “What’s in it?”. “I can’t say”. Above us we see it advertised “outa our ass, into your glass”. Another sign says “You puke, you clean up”. Naturally we order two. For $11.

The drink? An unmarked bottle is grabbed off the shelf and the shot glasses are filled with room temperature cloudy brown liquid.

It feels like it’s 1978. The shot is terrible but we’ve been laughing since we entered the bar. The experience is magnificent.

Two very different places, linked by their understanding of their customers, their brand and the value of experience. Two sides of the same coin. Polar opposites but also with everything in common.